I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
