the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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