Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
