why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
