marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My friends, they love my intelligence
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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