Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
