your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
