Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize