I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
