the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My pussy is not your playground.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
