evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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