I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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