If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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