nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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