In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
