bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
