yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
