I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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