I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
