Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
