if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
