yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't deserve a penis
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
