he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
