Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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