Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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