More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
