Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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