How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
