Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
