my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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