He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
