Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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