I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
