already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
