She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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