so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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