Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
