did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Randomize
