dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
