i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
