bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
