I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
