Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
