My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
