ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
