Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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