East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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