Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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