I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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