i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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